Laundro-Mat Doodle

Every weekend I do a couple loads of laundry at the corner laundro-mat. This is how I entertain myself. Since I'm pretty lazy over the weekends, this might be a regular feature since all it requires is that I scan a picture or two. What do you think?

And yes, I have major geek love.

Funny Prank

Click here. Then search for my blog. You'll like it ... or not. *evil laugh*

Veganism

While I was trapped in the airport on the Day after Christmas I diverted myself by glancing through the nearest bookstore. I'm always a little disappointed with airport bookstores, because they never have anything I want to read (i.e. geeky fantasy novels) and a lot of autobiographies of of left-leaning political candidates. I've decided I'm going to start using Barak Obama's title, The Audacity of Hope as my new obnoxious catch phrase: "Well, I don't think I'm going to leave this airport before I turn 40, but I have the audacity to hope the plane will arrive sometime this decade."

I found this little gem of a book, called Skinny Bitch, which is so delightfully annoying that I can't help commenting on it. Basically it's a manifesto on veganism painfully disguised as a witty, hip, in-your-face guide to eating. Which, in this case, translates into writing like you're 14 and using lots of profanity.

Now, I really don't have a problem with veganism as an idea, but I can't stand the attitude that seems to go with it. Adopting an air of superiority because you've chosen to due away with animal products is really not merited, especially when your eating choices make you a really obnoxious dining companion.

Their first argument describes meat as decaying, decomposing lump of waste, so ewww, why would you want to eat that? Except it was more like "So why in the f****** h*** would you want to eat that s***?" Well, dead is dead, whether animal or vegetable, so I would think that by this same logic, a salad is really just a nicely tossed compost pile. But what would I know? I'm just a fat slob who's idea of a nice dinner is decaying meat and potatoes.

The second argument was against dairy. Apparently "big dairy" should joining the ranks of "big oil" and "big tobacco" as an industry that's really trying to exploit people by taking their money then killing them. Now, this may be true, but from my experience, it's usually the people who don't eat animals that are interested in exterminating people. According to the authors, humans are the only species that drinks milk from another species and that drinks milk into adulthood. My response to this is that the authors are either A. Stupid, B. Have never actually spent any time around the animals, or C. Pushing an idealogical agenda.

I decided to test their theory on test subjects of both different stages of life and species.
Apparently, full-grown kitties and 8-month-old puppies enjoy drinking cow's milk. What's more, the draw of cow's milk was so strong they were able to overcome their natural aversion of each other and drink in harmony.

I've also milk goats on a goat farm, and the goats when nuts trying to drink their own milk, even the adults, so I don't buy that.

Here's something else humans do that animals don't do: actively care for the sick and wounded, not only of our own kind, but other creatures as well. We follow a rule of law, rather then resolving our problems through violent means (at least until we evil red staters take over). And we waste our time reading and writing on decaying remnants of trees.

Here's something people don't do that animals do: Eat poo. My dog seems to think the litter box is actually a treat box.

Now, I love animals. I couldn't live in a 650-square foot apartment with husband, two cats and a dog if I didn't. But animals don't deserve to be on a pedestal. Anytime spent around animals will reveal that on the whole they are selfish, gross, and nasty creatures that are mainly interested in eating, whether poo, grass, or each other, and procreating. After centuries of domestication dogs and cats are barely tolerable, but even thats only after individual training and time to make them worthwhile to be around.

Another things humans do is is allow each other to make their own choices on how to live their lives (at least, the humans who live in the West do. But still, it was homo sapiens who came up with the idea). So don't eat meat if it makes you sleep better at night. But don't look down at your nose at me if I do. Now I'm off to eat some eggs for breakfast. And my pets will have the audacity to hope that I'll share some with them.

My Birthday

Was yesterday. Yay! :)

Sales Seminar

My boss comes to me the other day and says "So, how would you like to attend this sales seminar next week?"

My immediate thought is "I think I would hate it," but I have learned that saying what you really think rarely advances you forward in life. So instead I said, "Sure." And then thought "Heck, if I'm getting paid, I'll wash your car for you. Oh wait, I've already done that. "

The seminar wasn't as bad as I thought. First, they served free food, which almost guarantees my presence at an event. In college I once attended both the College Republican and the College Democrats rallys just because they served free pizza. I didn't even hear what any of their platforms were, but I do remember the Democrats had a puppet or something like that.

The real purpose of my attending was not to learn to be a better sales person, but a better secretary. I learned all the new dirty tricks sales people are engaging in order to push their wares. One of the best was calling the secretary and asking, "Hey, is so-and-so out of their meeting yet?" The secretary will probably answer yes and the salesperson will have created the impression that he knows the boss. So sneaky. But now I know better. I feel like I was engaged in a covert operation to learn the game strategies of the enemy.

Inevitably, when you get a bunch of business people together, they want to start networking. However, networking isn't quite as effective when everyone is applying the same tactics they just learned together on each other.

"So Meghan, is your boss gonna be around on Tuesday?"
"Um, you know I was just at the same seminar as you, right? I know what you're trying to do."
"Well, I have some really great insurance to offer. Do you think I can drop by sometime next Tuesday?"
"Dude, what are you doing? We don't want your insurance!"
"If Tuesday doesn't work, maybe Wednesday? How 'bout it, Tuesday or Wednesday?"
"STOP IT!" I then grabbed a stack of my business cards and started flinging them at him like Chinese stars. "Get back, back I say!"

Needless to say, I'm not going to be invited to any corporate parties this year, which is a shame. That's a lot of free food I'm missing out on.