Sales Seminar

My boss comes to me the other day and says "So, how would you like to attend this sales seminar next week?"

My immediate thought is "I think I would hate it," but I have learned that saying what you really think rarely advances you forward in life. So instead I said, "Sure." And then thought "Heck, if I'm getting paid, I'll wash your car for you. Oh wait, I've already done that. "

The seminar wasn't as bad as I thought. First, they served free food, which almost guarantees my presence at an event. In college I once attended both the College Republican and the College Democrats rallys just because they served free pizza. I didn't even hear what any of their platforms were, but I do remember the Democrats had a puppet or something like that.

The real purpose of my attending was not to learn to be a better sales person, but a better secretary. I learned all the new dirty tricks sales people are engaging in order to push their wares. One of the best was calling the secretary and asking, "Hey, is so-and-so out of their meeting yet?" The secretary will probably answer yes and the salesperson will have created the impression that he knows the boss. So sneaky. But now I know better. I feel like I was engaged in a covert operation to learn the game strategies of the enemy.

Inevitably, when you get a bunch of business people together, they want to start networking. However, networking isn't quite as effective when everyone is applying the same tactics they just learned together on each other.

"So Meghan, is your boss gonna be around on Tuesday?"
"Um, you know I was just at the same seminar as you, right? I know what you're trying to do."
"Well, I have some really great insurance to offer. Do you think I can drop by sometime next Tuesday?"
"Dude, what are you doing? We don't want your insurance!"
"If Tuesday doesn't work, maybe Wednesday? How 'bout it, Tuesday or Wednesday?"
"STOP IT!" I then grabbed a stack of my business cards and started flinging them at him like Chinese stars. "Get back, back I say!"

Needless to say, I'm not going to be invited to any corporate parties this year, which is a shame. That's a lot of free food I'm missing out on.