Denting Your Neighbor's Car: A Terrible Mistake or Oppurtunity to Make New Friends?

Just a few days ago, Taylor (my husband, not my friend, Taylor Williams ) and I got into our car to meet a friend for a late-night dinner, when all the sudden our plans came to a dull "thud." The "thud" in this case was our car backing into the rear driver's side door of a Nissan Altima. Now, I don't have pictures of the damage we did, but let's say it's between this and this. After we inspected the damage, we then debated what to do. I never thought it would happen, but a little devil and little angel actually appeared on my shoulders. That was surprising enough, but even more so when I realized that the angel on my left and the devil was on my right. For some reason I always thought it'd be the other way around. The angel started first.

"You should leave a note! That would be the right thing to do," Left Shoulder Angel said.

"Nah, just walk away! No one will ever know!" Right Shoulder Devil Said.

She then looked at the car and said, "Well, I guess the car owner would know, since that dent is the size of a crater, but he/she/it (Little Devils are very Politically Correct, you know) won't have to know that it was you!"

That's when I said "Get thee behind me, Devil!" Political Correctness is always a sign of evil. Taylor and I went into our apartment building and knocked on all the doors without luck. Finally, on Apartment #3 we got a reply.

"What the @#$% do you want?" Said Apt. #3

Taylor and I fearfully looked at each other, praying that we hadn't smashed Apt. #3's car.

Taylor stood there like a man, holding me as I tried to escape down the stairway and said, "Excuse me, do you own a Nissan Altima."

Pause.

"No sir," Apt. #3 said, "I don't."

Relief.

"Great-thanks-have-a-good-night!" Taylor said as we ran down the stairs.

Since our fellow tenants obviously were not the car's owner, we were stuck writing a detailed note (We are so sorry! Call us and we'll pay [please don't sue us!]) and left it under the windshield wiper.

Then we waited. And waited. Until, finally, we got a call. It turns out the car belongs to a friend of a guy who lives in the building next to ours. The guy was actually pretty understanding, and surprised that we left a note instead of just walking away. In fact, all of our Quincy friends we told our story to were surprised. My boss, for example, was shocked that we would do such a thing, and then abruptly ascribed it to our "Christian ways, I guess."

We're still waiting to hear about the total estimate for the car. However, even now, I feel like we learned a life lesson deeper than look behind you when you back out.

Our money is not our own. I know I personally look at money as security, but it can be gone in an instant. I have to be constantly reminded that God is the only security I have for this life and the next, and that He is the great provider, not my paycheck. As they say, "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." I'm not saying God caused us to have an accident, but that He used this incident as a reminder of whom we depend.

I also know that God can take any situation and turn it into something good. And while denting their car wasn't what I see as the most ideal way to meet my neighbors, it did get me out of my building. God only knows, but this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Or just a lesson that money is a tool.

Either way, I know that I will grow from this as a Christian, which is really the most important thing of all.

George Bush: Where's the Love?

Okay, so something I've noticed since moving up North is the severe hatin' on George Bush. Now, I can understand my diseffected college friends complaining about how "I hate George Bush, he's such a fascist." I just chalk that up to them being diseffected college students who don't really understand the meaning of fascism. You see kids, that means that Fidel Castro of Cuba is a fascist ("You mean that nice Communist Dictator who makes all that sugar?"), not the President of the United States who will be leaving in a year and a half. But even the intelligent, well-meaing, and generally pleasant adults around mutate into unpleasant crazy people as the mere mention of Bush. Or even a bush. For example:

"My, what a lovely bush you have in your front yard. What kind is it?"

"A fascist one that's ruined the economy and literally started World War III!"

Yes, I actually had someone tell me that Bush started World War III. Now, I mentioned that to my friends Chris and Taylor, and they surmised that while Bush could have started a new World War, it was hardly World War III.

"I think the Cold War could be considered World War III." Chris said helpfully.
"Actually," Taylor even more helpfully said, "There have been dozens of "world wars" since civilization began, so you'd have to say that Bush started a modern day World Way III. Or IV."

"Well, thanks guys!" I said. "I think you missed my point, but yours are still equally valid!"

The reason why I'm writing this is because I think it's weird. I was but a youngin' when the Republicans were hatin' on Bill Clinton (who I heard is actually a pretty charming guy as long as you're willing to overlook personal flaws), so this is the first I've experienced of Presidential Hatred.

But honestly, I don't recall Clinton ever being accused of causing all the ills Bush is accused of. Global Warming, the Middle East's Hatred of The West, JonBennet's murder(I'm totally not kidding about this). Just the other day I was watching Kevin Spacey talk about his role as Lex Luther in the new Superman Movie. The interviewer was saying how "Lex was so evil, so diobolical, so -"

"Like George Bush?" Spacey smirked.

"Well, you said it, not me!" The interviewer giggled.

Excuse me, Kevin, while I gag. It's one thing for diseffected college students to go off like that, but you? I mean, you only starred in a movie about a middle-age man lusting after a sixteen-year-old cheerleader. I expected so much more from you.

And the inconsistancy. First Bush is a ignorant cowboy, unfit for the presidency and being led by the hand by Dick Cheney or Karl Rove. Then he's a meglomanic bent on world domination? Can we settle on one or the other guys?

Look, there are plenty of things I'm unhappy with Bush about. Government spending, immigration, etc. but I'd rather have him in office dealing with the War on Terrorism (yes, there is one) than Al "Junk Science" Gore or John "Um, I changed my mind and did I mention I'm a war vet?" Kerry.

As for those of you who hate him, Relax! He'll be gone in a year and a half, and then we can all have fun hatin' on Hillary. Except for you, Doctor Shock.

Things I like about the South - Seriously!

In my last post I kinda did a little Arkansas bashing, which is easy, because Arkansas is probably the least cool state in the United States (unless you're being literal, then I'd have to say Hawaii). But picking on Arkansas is like picking on a socially awkward kid -- fun, but not very nice. I don't want to give the impression that I'm ashamed of my roots as a Mid-Western kid who moved to Dallas, Texas when she was ten. But I consider Dallas to be my true home town (Sorry Mom!) and have adopted many Southern cultural traits as my own.

The first, is the use of "y'all"* as a plural form of "you." Yes, I know that "you" is both singular and plural, but it's so confusing. Say, for instance, you (singular in this case) walk up to a group of people and say "Hey, you want to go to the store?" Now, do they know if you're talking to all of them, or just one of them? Because if they don't , things could be socially awkward quickly (like the said child in the above paragraph, but I digress). Therefore, "y'all" helps eliminate such awkwardness because it's clear that you are referring to all of them.

Second, I love real Southern barbecue! Dry rub, smoked, vinegar based, ketchup based, throw it all at me and I'll fill my tummy! I could probably eat barbecue every day and not get sick.

Along with barbecue, goes sweet tea! Aww, there is nothing better on a hot day then relaxing with a tall glass of sweet tea.

I could go on and on about good ol' Southern cooking, but I'm getting hungry so I need to move on.

Socially, something I like about the South is that Jesus=Cool! Now, that does has some problems of it's own, but it's nice to be able to talk about my faith without hearing 1: How dare you try to impose your belief system on me! or 2: Well, I'm glad Jesus works for you (you [singular] ignoramus) but I'm all set.

Along with the whole "We're all Christians (well, socially anyway)!" is the famous Southern Hospitality, which includes potluck lunches, big dinner parties, lots of sweet tea, and plenty of good, clean fun involving dice (Bunco) and cards (Spades) but no gambling!

I also like Southern Pride. We may have lost the War of the Northern Aggression (haha, I'm so just kidding. About the name of the Civil War, not that the South lost.) but we're not going to let that get us down! It's fun being a part of something bigger than yourself, even if it's something hokey like "Well, Texas could still be considered a Republic ..."

Finally, I like it because the South is a part of me. It's where I came from. But, now that I'm here up North, I'm ready to make it also a part of me. I don't know if I'll ever find a good substitute for sweet tea and y'all (maybe yous guys?), but I'm definitely ready to drop the whole debate over whether Texas can still legally secede from the Union. Plus, clam chowder is DE-licious!

*Now, there is some disagreement among users as to the correct spelling of the contraction, "you all." Y'all, Ya'll, Yawl, Y'll, and Ya'all are all variations, but each carries the same denotation of "you plural."

Ordering Groceries Online is Almost as Cool as Ordering Clothes Online

As I was riding the T on the way back to work I saw an advertisement for www.peapod.com, which is an online grocery store connected to Stop & Shop. I was instantly intrigued. Could grocery shopping, one of the banes of my domestic life, really be made simpler through the Internet? Getting groceries has always been an ordeal, because besides having to create a list of things to buy, I have to arrange a time when I can have the car, since Taylor and I share a vehicle and he usually has it. Then there's the actual trip to the store, which takes at least two hours because I can never find some obscure but necessary item on my list.

"Okay, where the heck are the slivered almonds?"

Plus, inevitably I always come home and realize that I forgotten some item that's so important I can't understand how I possibly forgot it in the first place.

"Oh, toilet paper! I knew I was forgetting something important. I wonder how long we can stretch the kleenex until I get back to the store?"

When I got home I looked up this service online, and indeed, it appeared to be the solution to my dilemma. I excitedly told my husband about my new discovery, but he failed to share my enthusiasm. He raised up all these rational objections to purchasing groceries online, and effectively killed my own interest.

"Fine," I said. "I won't order groceries online. But we have to go tomorrow morning so I can have the car."

"That's fine," he said.

Until the next morning, that is.

"Are you ready to go grocery shopping?" I asked.

He stretched and yawned. "You know, I think we should give ordering online a chance."

Oh really?

So, Taylor lay on the couch and watched TV while I happily perused the online aisles. It was quite enchanting to be able to type in whatever I needed in the search box and, with one click of a mouse, add it to my shopping cart. Better still I was able to do this in my pajamas (Now, in theory I could have gone to the grocery store in my pajamas anyway, but for some reason one always seems to run into beautiful and well-dressed female friends when one does this, which is why I always dress up before going to the store. But that's another topic altogether).

Before I knew it, all my grocery shopping was done, and I never had to get up out of my chair(And we wonder why America is getting fat?).

The next day, my groceries arrived, and that's when I discovered that though convenient, online groceries shopping does have it's pitfalls. Several items were smaller than I thought they'd be, such as the 14 ounce jar of peanut butter I only paid a dollar for. Believe me, 14 ounces isn't as much as you'd think. And then there was the question of whether I should tip the delivery guy, but he didn't hold out his palm at anytime, so I decided to err on the side of stinginess. After all, I did pay a whole $6.95 delivery fee, so that should cover it, right? I bet he's with his coworkers right now saying "That Quarry Street chick is such a tightwad. We should spit in her bagels next time." Eww.

But I would have to say that the risks of delivery guy spit is definitely worth the convenience. It also made me marvel at what a cool place I live in, that I could have my groceries delivered to me! Definitely didn't have that amenity down South. I mean, back in Arkansas, we couldn't even get Chinese delivered. Now if that isn't the definition of backwardness, I don't know what is.

What? Two Posts in One Day? She's Taking This Seriously!

Ha. Right. Anyway, I told my friend Chris of www.narfscavern.com (a little promotion for ya, Chris!) that I was starting a blog, and his first question was, "Is it going to be bitter?"

"No, of course not!" said I. "Why would it be bitter?"
"Because all blogs turn into bitter tirades about the world. I think that's the whole point."
"Well, my blog won't be bitter, because I'm just going to write about how smart I am and how dumb everyone else is -- oh wait ... "

But, I would like to note that I just hung out with three of my really good friends tonight after a week-long absence, reminding me yet again how good it is to be with people who share your values and beliefs. It renews you in a way just reading conservative blogs alone can't. Plus, random conversation is good for the soul.

"So, Rhode Island is neither a road nor an island. Discuss, discuss."

So here's to you my friends, you make me better than what I could be alone.

And on that sentimental note (I'm getting affected by these Northerners already!), good night!

Not another random blogger!

So, I've always resisted the idea of keeping an "internet diary" because, well, to be honest, I always thought they were kinda lame. Or maybe it's because the people I know who keep "internet diaries" ARE kinda lame. The disaffected college nerds who write about how miserable their lives are and how the girl they like likes someone else and how their moms is, like, totally driving them crazy. They also seem to avoid punctuation and capital letters, UNLESS ITS TO MAKE A REALLY IMPORTANT POINT!!!!!!!!!!!! the rest of the time its "like omg im so mad cuz the gurl i like is into some 1 else like my life totally sux right now (insert crying face here)."

However, recently I was turned on to the joys of conservative blogging, mainly michellemalkin.com and her affiliated video blog, hotair.com. Finally, here was a source of opinionated, obnoxious people who share my obnoxious opinions! What a discovery! And what a new avenue for me to explore. I'm one of the people who says "I wanna be a writer when I grow up!" but never write. So here's my chance to actually follow through and make writing a daily habit. And on that note so ends my first post.