I thought I'd take advantage of my unemployed state to head to the mall today to do an exchange of a present I bought for Taylor. Earlier that morning he and I used a gift card given to me by my parents to order some movies, and he happened to pick a movie I already bought. I tried to dissuade him to no avail. After all, I couldn't go right out and say "Don't order that movie, you dummy, because I already bought it and it's hiding in my pantie drawer!" Like I need to give him anymore reasons to go into my drawers.
I thought that, since most people are working, I would have a pretty easy time navigating the mall. What a fool I was. I should have known that there is a population of people just like me: unemployed but still like to spend money.
All rules that normally apply to social interactions fly out the window when you're searching for mall parking spot. People cut in front of each other. Eye contact is made and maintained as drivers mentally contend for the same spot. Hitting pedestrians is not only acceptable but encouraged. Stalking someone is no longer creepy, it's a smart move to ensure you get their spot. I sometimes wonder if some people, knowing that another is waiting for them to vacate, don't purposely take longer than usual to leave. They kick their tires, open their hoods and check their oil levels. Uh-oh, too low. Gotta get the oil bottle out of the trunk and top it off. Re-check the oil level. That's better. Get inside the car. Take care in buckling the seatbelt, now have to adjust the mirrors, first the left side, then the right side, now the rear view mirror - can't be too careful!
By this time, the other driver has given up and the mall has closed anyway.
All the same, I managed to find a parking spot in a neighboring zip code, battle the lines, be sent to three difference customer service managers, and exchange the movie for another of equal or lessor value. Flushed with victory, I am now ready to face the ultimate holiday nightmare: Wal-Mart.
But I'll do it tomorrow.
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1 comment:
your blog cracks me up.
fave part:
They kick their tires, open their hoods and check their oil levels. Uh-oh, too low. Gotta get the oil bottle out of the trunk and top it off. Re-check the oil level.
man. i'm not unemployed right now, but i am job hunting and it's hard. can i hire someone to look for me? c'mon.
also, whilst unemployed, maybe you should look at elance.com it's something a friend told me about the other day b/c i want to beef up my portfolio...you might see something there that can bring you some extracurricular moolah.
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